Moments of Complete Clarity

Buenos dias!

Annoyance of the Day: People who say, "I should blog more" or "I should call so-and-so more" etc.

I am one of these people. I know it, I fail at picking up the phone and calling my parents or family back home. I suck at it. I'm a horrible person. Getting the picture?

However, people who continually just use this as an excuse drive me nuts. I just acknowledge the fact that I don't always keep my levels of communication as high as I should. It's easier this way, and less disappointing for my family, I hope. I try to do better, but I don't use this as an excuse or placation. I just get so wrapped up in the day-to-day, that I forget about the week-to-week, or the month-to-month.

So, to summarize, shut the fuck up about it, or accept it, and do you best to minimize your impact on the people you love. That's the best I can offer.

I writing this a few days early, since I have some extra free time with the holiday, but when this gets posted, I should be at 72 hours without a cigarette, again. I say again, because, as anyone who knows me will attest to - this is is not my first time at this rodeo. It will, however, be the 6th time I've quit and made it to 72 hours. The remaining 100 times, I've failed at 48, or 24, or 10, or 1...

Anyhow, in writing my last post, I was thinking about all my moves back and forth across the country and recalled one of my, moments of complete clarity. I'm sure I've head this term somewhere else, but hell if I can remember who I'm plagiarizing. Whether or not I'm using the term as correctly as I should, I will explain what this phrase means to me. There are few true moments in life where one can say they were 100% aware.

Our perceptions of life are so easily clouded. Mood, and life events, skew how our puny little brains take in information. Think about two states of mind...

- You've just been cut off in traffic, pissed off at your partner, had a bad day at work, your lunch tasted like crap, you spilled coffee on yourself in the morning.
- You've just been cut off in traffic, just had a quickie, had a fantastic day at work, your lunch tasted incredible, and you got a free coffee this morning because the barista liked your shirt.

Your reaction to the exact same stimulus, being cut off in traffic, is likely going to be different. However, when you remember the incident months later, you won't have the immediate backstory of your affected mood during the day to alloy you to process the information. Point being, if we were fully rational living things, our response to any stimulus would be consistent, regardless of any other outside influence.

I think it's safe to say, we're not those kind of beings. We're emotional and irrational and our reaction to any stimulus varies on a thousand different variables.

So, what are these moments of which I'm speaking? They are simply times in life, when the haze of life and emotion part and you can see, with perfect clarity and understanding something... anything.

These moments are clearly rare, and I think I've been blessed and lucky to have two in my life. I think some people are doomed to go through life without experiencing a single one; I pity that. These two moments have greatly influenced me and changed me to the core. They're brief but meaniful.

Writing for me, helps to bring about these moments; and there are times I can see, in my mind's eye, the haze parting... but something makes it all for naught, and the haze thickens again. I know that there's something valuable, just on the other side of the fog. Sometimes you get a slight glimpse of a shape, a face, a thought... and you gain a little understanding, but - the true moments of complete clarity, are the true meaning of epiphany.

Value your life, it's far too short. Treasure these moments and when the do happen, be receptive and drink it all in. For these times, are truly priceless.